Duggers Expecting Child Number 20: China Outraged!

As the sun sets on the Dugger property child number 16 looks threw his window, then down at his fingers which are bleeding as a result of being forced to practice his guitar for the family band for 15 hours straight. “My dad says god loves my music and will smite me if I do not practice.”

Just another end of another day at the Dugger Household where it was announced earlier this week that the family is expecting their 20^th child. “I could not be happier,” said the proud mother, “Now we can move 3 kids from Laundry duty out the gravel mines to chip rock for our landscape remodel in the backyard. All this money we get from TLC has sure been a blessing.”

A blessing indeed, but not for all. Members of China’s Overpopulation Commission met as soon as the news as announced. CFP Ming Yung Tong made this statement earlier today at a press junket for the Organization.

“We once again shake our head at America. As many countries struggle with overpopulation and ways to feed those that cannot feed themselves we would like to send a message to the United States. For the love of fucking god please don’t give people who don’t believe in birth control television shows. I mean wasn’t the last one born with its heart outside its body?”

The Dugger’s 19^th child was born pre-mature and was in infant ICU for weeks before   it was released back to the Duggers who then immediately set the infant up with doggie poop pick up detail.

“Everyone needs to help out.” Says Dad as he shoves Kid #1 and Kid # 4 down into the basement to clean out black widow nests. As we turn the corner into the kitchen, Kid # 10 is hovered over the sink, hands red and puckered. “How long have you been doing this?” I ask.  As she turns her head she tearfully whispers to me. “Get out while you still can!”

When Mrs. Dugger was asked if she expects a boy or a girl she laughed as she replied, “I hope God just does not let this one slip out of my vagina too early and that has all her limbs intact..We  have a big attic remodel coming up and need all the  helping hands we can get.”